Thank you again for visiting my site. I want to tell you my story because it has brought me to the place I am today…
Why I Felt Broken
Growing up I struggled with insecurities, many as a result of a secretly unstable and abusive family environment.
Despite what I witnessed at home, I was naive and extremely innocent, which left me vulnerable and overly trusting to anyone that seemed to take an interest in me.
I was 22 years old, trying to find my footing as I entered the workforce as a teacher.
That’s when the floor fell out from underneath me.
I had just come out of an unhealthy relationship and was even more vulnerable and distraught.
Having no one at home that I could speak to, I turned to someone I trusted, a pastor who took an interest in me and my situation.
Naively I trusted that he had my best intentions at heart.
Unfortunately he took advantage of my vulnerable state. One evening after I had finished babysitting his child he raped me.
Until Someone Cared
Like many rape victims, I tried to hide from the truth. I was in denial. Ashamed I spoke to no one. This made things worse as I struggled with a growing feeling of worthlessness.
I even tried to continue to be “friends” with him and act like nothing happened, but that was even more painful and confusing.
So I decided to move away hoping, that this would stop the pain.
Church had been such a big part of my world and I was desperate to be able to trust in those ministering within it again. Because of this, I knew I had to tell someone.
This is when I realized there was a tremendous need in our churches. Rather than helping me and dealing with the issue, the leaders buried their heads, almost inasmuch denial as I had been.
It took me a while to get over the feeling of abandonment from people I thought would have been supportive.
I healed, I realized that they too, did not know how to deal with an issue so devastating.
They had never received proper training. They feared for the victims but also worried about their churches and what talking about something like this would do.
One day I shared my story with someone that really cared, and it changed everything.
I Found My Purpose
After 24 years of blaming myself, I finally accepted that I was the victim. I realized that I was betrayed by someone that had power over me because of his position.
This cost me my self-esteem, years of unsuccessful therapy, and loss of belief in my church.
But what happened next, made me realize that I had a purpose and that God was going to use little insignificant me, in a big way!
I was invited to speak in front of a small group of ministers.
Terrified I opened up about what I had gone through, how the church reacted and how they, as leaders could implement strategies that would protect their members as well as themselves.
There was an outpouring of supportive but I recognized a very clear need for further education.
This lead to the creation of my seminar entitled “Sacred Boundaries”
So Others Can Heal
Today, I have the privilege of visiting churches, ministries and schools teaching leaders on how to:
- Recognize 10 steps a perpetrator takes
- Protect themselves as leaders
- Protect their congregation or students
- Properly help a victim that experienced this abuse
The results of sharing my story has not only brought on a desperately needed awareness, but allowed others to come forth and begin their healing journey.
I now live in Peterborough,Ontario and have been blessed with an awesome partner and God fearing husband and six amazing sons. Yes, I said six.
Between working with my husband at his audiology clinic, cooking, chauffeuring and tending to the endless list that comes with being a parent, I enjoy reading, writing and traveling.
I’m grateful everyday for my life and the journey that God continues to lead me through.
I pray that my story will touch, inspire and help others who have gone through the same situation, realizing that there is hope and that God has a purpose for everyone no matter how insignificant they may feel.
I have made it my mission to educate and train ministries, schools and workplaces on how to prevent and deal with inappropriate sexual behaviors so that they can protect not only themselves but help victims that may have already been afflicted.
If you have any questions or are interested in more information please do not hesitate to reach out using the contact form.
I pray that God richly blesses you and your family. Thank you for being part of this journey with me.